I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
