He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Boobs are out for the taking
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
