Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
