my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Randomize
