I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
