Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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