I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
