I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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