i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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