I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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