I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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