Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
dude. I can hear the air.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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