I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
