This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
