his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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