"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
