ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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