Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
