Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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