I wannas sexs uuuuu
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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