she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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