just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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