Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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