I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
