someone threw a dead crab at me
babies were throwing up all over the place
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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