okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
