We need to rekindle our bromance
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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