so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
