we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He did a backflip because drugs
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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