Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
