its not stalking. its research.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
