We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
