Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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