we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
we're so committed to being not committed
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
