Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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