I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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