pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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