he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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