You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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