try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
