Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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