ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
