I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
