the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
