More tranny stories later!
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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