thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
