the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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