new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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