Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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