Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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