My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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