i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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