My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
