hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
accomplished twins. life is a go
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Randomize
