If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
he puts the penis in happiness.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
