She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
